you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
