Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
