dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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