Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
