So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He? As in you personified your dick?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
