Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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