i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
