dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
