is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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