The maid of honor just puked.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize