It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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