and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I intend to get homeless drunk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
