watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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