I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize