Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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