So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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