I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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