it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
