and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
