So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
