Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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