weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My ass is underappreciated
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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