I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
