Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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