playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
