well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
