idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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