it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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