I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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