Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
