Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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