How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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