i already hear my dad disowning me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
