So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize