You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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