I wish I only lived at night.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm too high and old for this...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
