and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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