I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
