I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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