coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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