Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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