How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize