So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You may now shotgun with the bride
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
