At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
