Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
