we made out on top of his cat.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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