You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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