I think i sorta joined a cult last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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