from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
