you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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