My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
BRING THE BAGELS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
