is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm always down for nudity.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
