she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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