my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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