; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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