There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
