she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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