that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
