he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think your dad took our porno
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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