my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
