Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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