Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
