how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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