if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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