Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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