I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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